If you know me well or have managed to read through the lines of my last post, you can probably tell that the move to Bradford has been difficult at times. These past few weeks the homesickness has definitely hit, with term restarting in Southampton, I have felt very far away from it all. It’s hard starting from scratch in a new place, trusting people with who you are, the good and the bad. None the less I’m sure I’m where God wants me to be and He’s been teaching me some things along the way.
Working at CAP you hear all the stories of transformation, and all the dramatic things that God is doing. Testimonies of lives transformed, freedom and healing. It’s exciting to be a part of something so big, something making such a difference. But I’m finding that sometimes, in amongst all the big stories, you can loose sight of how God is moving in the small ways. You forget that God is also in the ordinary things, the intricacies of every day. Life isn’t all trumpets and fanfares, sometimes it’s just a collection of simple melodies that God weaves into a symphony. When you’re in that place, that place of struggling to see progress, those big stories can make you jealous. You end up wishing that God would act in the way He did in someone else’s story, wishing for their big moment of change. But then we miss the beauty of our own unique stories. We don’t see all the little ways that God is at work.
God is just as much with us in the pain and heartbreaks of life, when we don’t see transformation, or the big breakthrough we long for. He’s with his children in death and sickness, when you lie awake in the middle of the night wondering why this has happened. He’s with us in the small things, those little steps we take forward, hesitant and stumbling. He’s just as much with our clients when they first pick up the phone and call CAP, as he is at the moment when they become debt free, or when they come to know him as their father. No moment is too small or too insignificant for God.
There are big things in my life that I am waiting for God to do, situations where I need his hand. And I will keep waiting. But in the mean time God has been showing me that He’s with me in the smaller things. In the unexpected conversations, the kindnesses of new friends and the love of old friends. I feel incredibly blessed to have settled in a church family that I love and a home group where I can be myself. I was able to sing on the worship team last Sunday which really made me feel at home (you may have seen the picture of the team on my Facebook all in African shirts, there may be a story behind it..or it might just be what we wear up north…believe what you will…).
Whatever challenges and difficulties we may face, we can know that God is in the small things as much as the big. And that to me is a great comfort.